Dating in a Hookup Era

On Friday, the New York Times published an article titled “The End of Courtship?” which discusses how modern society has eschewed the concept of dating for “hanging out” and hooking up. Though the article tries to blame technology, the rise of women over men, and the economy for the woes of young and single people it never seems to identify what it is that has caused humans to forget courtship rituals in favor of an ambiguous relationship with no fulfillment.

One factor that the article starts to mention and then never fully explains is how human nature is partially to blame for the ambiguous relationships and disregard for courting. Human nature has always tried to take the easiest choice rather than the best choice. Now that men can simply text a girl “hey” or “sup” and the girl responds, why would they do something as complicated as plan a date, call a girl, brace for potential rejection, and then go on a date? It is easier to have emotionally disconnected relationships for a short period of time than to potentially have your heart broken at the end of a relationship. Its easier for both sides to have text message relationships than to pick up the phone. Its easier to claim indifference to long-term dating than to realize that you have been betrayed by your own nature.

The best part of the article is at the end, where one woman stands up for herself. She refuses to settle for less. And she gets it. We can learn from her, when it comes to something as important as your long term relationships, it is better to do what’s right than what’s easy.


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