Sometimes, I have this sneaking suspicion that the Occupy movement is actually a terribly clever parody of left-wing protests, a bunch of (inevitably) Koch-funded conservatives/libertarians who are satirizing the intellectual bankruptcy of the Kumbaya, warmed-over Marxist leftism that we see today. Reading the recent DTH article about the motor company occupiers almost, almost confirmed those suspicions.
There were so many gems:
“Occupy Chapel Hill members say the arrests have created internal dissent among those who wanted to keep the protests peaceful and legal.”
Let’s enter our World of Imagination and think about how the news reports would read for a Tea Party group who made a similar announcement (but, fortunately, since they were the Tea Party, staying “peaceful and legal” went without saying).
“During a Sunday night march protesting the police raid and arrests that day, members chanted criticisms of law enforcement. But similar chants were quickly hushed in Thursday’s march.”
Great! So no more “Kill the Cops!” chants. Phew
“The group of occupiers also collectively agreed to not destroy public property.”
Wait, wait, wait. They had to actually discuss this and come to an agreement to not destroy property???
“In some ways, I feel I have been occupying my whole life,” said “Heather Epes, a Carrboro resident”
What does that even mean? “Heather Epes, age 2, was unduly concerned about income inequality.” The DTH can do better than quote mindless nonsense from a hippie (who’s from Carrboro, if you hadn’t guessed already).
Cammie Bellamy, a sophomore journalism major, who said she has been involved with Occupy Chapel Hill since protesters began occupying the Peace and Justice Plaza in Chapel Hill on Oct. 15, said the movement has inspired her. “I think this is the biggest, most visible movement of my lifetime,” she said.
Arab Spring, Green Revolution, move over, Occupy Chapel Hill is here as the “biggest, most visible movement” of the past twenty years! #narcissism
But then I remember that they’re actually serious. And I go back to wishing it were simply satire.