As many of you may know I went to see the Vagina Monologues. I did this to avoid criticism along the lines of “oh but you have never seen it, you don’t know.” Well, now I have seen it and it does glorify rape of children and prostitution, sorrryyyy (high-pitched, chipmunk voice). My reputation for judging before seeing began when I wrote my magnum opus, “I Heart Goat Orgasm.” I didn’t see the stupid play before I called it stupid (just as I have never been robbed but I find robbing to be against the law).
Well this time, in an effort to compromise and please the like of seemingly everyone else, I moderated. I moderated and found a middle ground and stayed for most of the play. Zach Dexter, our Cherrios guru, is my witness because I dragged him along with me.
Goodness knows I stayed through most of it. The play was entitled A Guy’s Tale. I had understood it to be a male take on the Vagina Monologues and so I decided, in the interest of fairness and diversity, to check it out.
Simply put, it was boring as tarp. It was basically a dude rambling and whinning about his relationships with girls. Honestly, I did sympathize with some of his plights and annoyances and those parts were funny. But other than some of the hummor it came off as a whine fest, much like the Vagina Monologues.
Granted, it wasn’t as horrific or as torturous as the V-Monoglogues. Those made me so uncomfertable at times that I had my head cupped in my arms, rocking in my chair, and singing “la, la, la” to block out the disgusting descriptions. A Guy’s Tale did not focus on the male penis or go into detail about the issues men deal with along those lines. In this way it was vastly different from the feminist crap found in the Vagina Monologues in which the Vagina is made a Christ figure (the actresses literally say they worship it). I will, however, criticize it as it does objectify women. Of course, the Vagina Monologues do as well, just in a different way. The main/only actor in the play A Guy’s Tale talks about how he objectifies women but simply brushes it off. I do believe he mentions how it isn’t the best thing to do, but basically he offers the excuse that he is male and that he can’t help it. The play offered a view of love that was perverted (sex before marriage et. al.) and glorified unhealthy relationships. However, it falls short of glorifying rape and prostitution, earning it 0.000 thumbs up as opposed to the V-Monologues’ o.o. So, they’ve got that going for them.
But, don’t take my word for it, go see them yourself (next year I suppose).