Having just been approved to write for this blog, I wanted to take this opportunity to write some earth-shattering post that would shake the very foundation of modern Leftism – you know something that would bring about the complete demise of the Democratic Party and issue in a new dispensation of political thought complete with personal responsibility, classical liberalism, and pretty pictures.

However, as I was preparing the above mentioned revelation, my roommate sidetracked me by saying one of the most brilliant things I have heard since arriving on campus.

“I’m not reading this to retain it. I’m reading this to say I readed it!”

. . . And, just like that, my thesis vanished.

So instead, I thought I would take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is James Heilpern and I am a freshman here at Chapel Hill. I would like to say that I have a major all picked out, but lying is a sin, so instead I will simply say I am going into “exploratory studies.” I enjoy long walks on the beach, (virgin) pinacaladas, and and just today I got caught in the rain.

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